For those of you who know me, when it comes to my home and household I am very particular about how I want things done, to put it nicely…I am sure that this is the same for many people. I often care too much what others will think and strive to go above and beyond when it comes to cleaning, cooking and so forth. I love to host, but can often over exert myself in this area. With that being said, I also had big plans and ideas of what kind of mother I would be and yet, over the past 9 months I have found that this thing we call motherhood has challenged me on new levels that I didn’t know I would face… todays blog is about the confessions of an overly relentless and controlling woman who became a mother and is learning to let things go.

We all have our own way that we do things; how we fold the laundry, where we put certain things away (clothes, towels, kitchen appliances/tools, etc), the way we clean, and so on. However, we also secretly have those few sets of chores that we cannot stand doing… I am one of those women who, if you help me fold laundry, after you leave the room I will refold it the way I want it. If things are not put away in the kitchen the “right way” meaning “my way” then I will go behind you and fix it. Lucky for me I have a very, let me emphasize VERY patient husband. He challenges me and forces me to “let go” of some of my hang-ups. He also knows my secrets…the chores that I can’t stand…and we have found a balance. He does the chores I usually dread, and he lets me be nit picky about other chores that I don’t mind doing.

So how has becoming a mother changed this for me… being the type-a personality that I am with my home and not having as much time since I am wrangling a now walking 9 month old on a daily basis…I have had to reprioritize my life a little, and Ryan has helped encourage me in this. My home no longer is ALWAYS spotless, decluttered, dusted, etc etc etc.

Vacuuming,  my least favorite chore of all…is almost a daily requirement now; if there is the smallest thread, crumb, or dirt on the floor you betcha that our daughter will find it and without missing a beat…put it in her mouth… so regular vacuuming is a must. If you come for a surprise visit you will likely find dust on the surfaces,  dog nose and baby finger smudges on the window glass, the bathroom sink might have a little hair or toothpaste, the dishes will be washed but most likely not put away (I could leave dishes drying for days without putting them away, another non-favorite), and the laundry will be washed and folded but likely still in the baskets waiting to be put away…now if I know you are coming all of these things will be done and you would never know the difference….I like to make an impression with my home, I like it to all look perfect.

Ryan has reminded me that one day Novella will help fold laundry and if all I do is criticize the way she does it then she could learn to resent doing her chores and possibly resent me for being so harsh with her…the same goes for cleaning and putting things away. It cannot always be my way or the highway with certain things, especially when children are involved. Ryan will come and help fold laundry now and instead of always doing it Micahs way, he does it his way and won’t let me refold…it tests me and challenges me, just as one day Novella will.

My daughters well being is more important than the way the laundry is folded, having dusted furniture, and dishes and laundry always put away.  The time spent with,  teaching, nursing, snuggling and loving her is far more important that my silly nit picky need to please others and have a perfectly clean and presentable home.

God has given us the gifts of our personalities and our structure. We are each individual, but we at some point have to learn to let go and let God. God is using my husband and daughter to help me grow, change and challenge myself to be the best God-fearing wife and mother that Christ created me to be. Without God and without Ryan and Novella helping me to keep my priorities in check I would just be a woman with a little bit of a control problem, a resentful husband and a neglected daughter… I am so grateful for the challenges that come my way, they are a blessing. I love to grow and see what God is doing in my and my families life.