I wrote this late last night, and did not get a chance to post it. I felt like I needed to post it as it was written and not change the wording of it.

As I lie here in a hospital recliner, gazing upon my sleeping daughter when I should be sleeping my heart is overwhelmed. My heart is overwhelmed not just for a love for my daughter, but for so many reasons, good, bad, happy, hard, sad….

This morning at 2am, I awoke, burdened with worry for my grandmother who fell ill and was in the hospital, burdened with the upcoming day of events of my daughter’s first surgery and how this new tube placement would change our lives, for the good certainly, but also how it would create new and different bounds for us and for her. So I prayed. I prayed that if it was God’s will to call my Grandmother home to heaven that it would be a peaceful ascent for her. I prayed for strenght for Aveline, dexterity and mindfulness of her doctors.

The worry that usually would keep me awake for hours was washed away and I fell asleep peacefully. As peacefully as my Grandmother too passed peacefully at the same hour that I was awoken and prayed for her. Peacefully like my daughter slept through her surgery and came out and slept through her recovery so that her body could heal.

God gives us moments of clarity, moments of grace and peace. We may not fully understand the strength of his power and blessings. We may never understand why things happen when they do, or why they do or don’t happen one way or the other. I do know one thing. Our God, he is AMAZING. He wakes us in the right moment to pray when someone needs prayer, he lays someone on our hearts that may need prayer, if only we would listen to his calling.

Today has not been a bad day. Today has been an emotionally taxing day. Today was a day filled with rejoicing that my Grandmother lived an amazing 96 years, that I have so many fond memories with her and that my girls got to know such an unique and wonderful woman. I rejoice today because she is now in Heaven with her Almighty Savior! I rejoice today that my daughter thrived during her surgery, that everything looked healthy and normal, that she awoke snuggly and happy (albeit very sleepy). I rejoice today that my husband could be off work to be with our little family. I rejoice today because two amazing women (both of my Grandmothers) were looking down on my family today as we sent our daughter on a gurney with doctors. I rejoice today because my Grandmother and PapaJoe were reunited. I rejoice today because I am a Christian and I have hope in Christ that all of those above things are reason to rejoice and not be burdened or sad.

Today was a day of relief, today was a day sadness, today was a day of tears of many emotions. But today was also a day for rejoicing.

Thank you God for everything you did today. We are not without gratitude for all that you have done and will do through all of today’s events.

Thank you everyone that lifted Aveline and our family up in prayers. Thank you for those of you that lifted the Ortwein family up in your prayers and your condolences today. We are all truly humbled and blessed by your kind words and prayers.